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Is Dyslexia Anyone’s Fault? A Real Talk for Parents

  • Writer: Karisma's Kaleidoscope
    Karisma's Kaleidoscope
  • Dec 1, 2025
  • 6 min read

Updated: Jan 9


If you’re a parent who has just discovered that your child has dyslexia or any other learning difficulty, it’s completely natural for your mind to race with questions. Let me stop this blog for a second and give you a big virtual hug. You are here and you are safe. I got you! Now moving on...


I think in all honesty this journey always starts with questions. And trust me, if you aren't filled with questions, confusion and sometimes a little anger, I would say you might still be processing it all or you are still coming to terms with it. Whichever it may be, questions will arise at some point, and those list of questions or doubts are needed to move forward. .


During my years as a neurodiverse teacher, one of the most common questions I get is... Whose fault is it- mine or my partner's? And let me tell you in my 16 years of teaching, I have heard this question at least a hundred times, and sometimes even by my students themselves. It is a question that is more common than many would like to admit.


So I am sure, you are sitting there going, "Karisma, tell me whose fault it is." or "Why do I need to read all these words when I know it is my wife/husband's fault."


Now, hold on... and let’s pause right there.


This question might feel heavy, emotional, and even a little scary. But here’s the truth: dyslexia isn’t about fault. And pointing fingers at one another will not help at all. It will not help you, and definitely not your child. So throw that blame game out the window right now, and sit tight as I take you through what is going on and what the focus should really be about. Are you ready? You sure? Okay then, lets's go!


So… Is Dyslexia Genetic?


Well, here’s where it gets interesting and confusing because there's plenty of research suggesting dyslexia can be genetic. But on the other hand there’s also plenty of research suggesting it isn’t that simple. Some studies that I have read show clear genetic links while others argue that environmental factors, brain development, or a combination of influences play a bigger role. That’s why many experts say the cause is not 100% one or the other. Dum dum dum...so if the experts cannot get a definite answer, how are we expected to? So I am going to give you my personal take on it.


My personal takeaway is that it’s a 50–50 situation. For some children, dyslexia is inherited. For others, it comes from completely different factors. Each child is different, each family is different and thus there is no way to determine what or who caused it. So, my advice to you is. Instead of asking, whose fault is this, the better question here would be, how can I help my child.



The Moment That Really Matters


Once we recognise a learning difficulty, the most important thing we can do is act fast—with love, confidence, and support. This means informing teachers early, seeking one-to-one intervention to bridge learning gaps, creating a strong support system at home and understanding your child’s strengths, not just their struggles. And parents let me tell you, when you set yourself up with a support group that has people you can trust and count on to share openly without judgement, you benefit from that as well. Because when you are on the right track, your child will also be on the right track.


During my 16 years of experience I have seen the difference with parents who have acted on it quickly and parents who have taken their time. Like I said, neither is wrong, we all have our own battles and mindsets, but time plays an important role for your child's development. The quicker they can find ways to cope, the quicker they are able to find what works for them both academically and socially. So please keep in mind that when children get timely intervention, the difference it makes is truly massive. They cope better. They grow stronger. They learn in ways that make sense to them. And most importantly—they realise that dyslexia or any learning difficulty is not a limitation. It’s simply a different pathway to learning. And this acceptance goes along with them throughout their life's journey.



Why Blame Slows Everything Down


We’re human. We always want to know the “why” behind everything. It is comforting. It gives us control. It gives us this sense of satisfaction when we get an answer that proves our hypothesis to be right.


But in the case of dyslexia or any other learning difficulty, the blame game really just needs to be put aside, no answer will help the situation, let me tell you that. Searching for fault can become a distraction. It is time-consuming. It’s emotionally draining. And sadly, it takes away valuable time that many children do not have to spare in today’s fast-paced academic world. I have seen families drift apart due to this blame game, and that is not what your child needs at this point in time. Let me repeat this for those at the back...Your child doesn’t need to be a part of the blame game. Your child needs support and the right intervention. And you have the power to provide that—starting now.



Breathe. Process. Then Move Forward.


Hearing the diagnosis may feel overwhelming. It is absolutely okay to feel sad, confused, or even guilty. It is part of being human. But after that moment passes, what comes next is far more important. Accept the news and give yourself time to digest it, but make sure to start building the right structure for yourselves and your child. Remember you need support and guidance too. Like they say on airplanes, put your mask on first before helping others. And once you have a direction in place, equip your child with all the things they need to thrive—with or without you. Because that’s what truly makes the difference. Not the cause. Not the blame. But the action. Life is so unpredictable, so the quicker we get things going for them the better it is.



Want to Explore the Research Yourself?


Here are some helpful links (you can insert your own selections):


Research Suggesting Genetic Links

Research Suggesting Non-Genetic or Mixed Causes



Recommended Books for Parents

  1. The Gift of Dyslexia: Why Some of the Brightest People Can't Read (and how They Can Learn) by Ronald D. Davis with Eldon M.Braun

  2. The Everything Parent's Guide to Children with Dyslexia: All You Need to Ensure Your Child's Success by Abigail Marshall

  3. Parent's Quick Start Guide to Dyslexia by James W. Forgan, Noelle Balsamo and Katie M. Miller 

  4. Parenting Dyslexia by Lisa Rappaport and Jody Lyons

  5. Far from the Tree: Parents, Children, and the Search for Identity by Andrew Solomon

  6. My Child’s Different by Elaine Halligan



I know it may hard and confusing right now, but there are many out there who are willing to help, including myself. Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Youtube, and other social media platforms can be places where you meet other parents going through the same thing. And I would advise you to ask all the questions you need to. You do what you need to do to get clarity and to make the journey a pleasant one for both you and your child. Trust me, challenges will come and go as your child grows and develops into a proud member of the adult society. Roll with the changes and seek advice whenever you can. No door is the wrong door, and it is better to knock on all the doors available than to miss one that might be the answer for you and your child. I wish you, your child and your family all the best. You got this!


Till my next blog! Stay safe and take care. Much love and respect. CHEERS!

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